


Clutching onto Destiny

by sadpendragon



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Light Angst, M/M, Magic Revealed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-29 20:34:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18301466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadpendragon/pseuds/sadpendragon
Summary: Merlin didn’t want their pity, he wanted their anger. After all, it was Merlin’s fault that Gwaine had died.





	Clutching onto Destiny

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nebula5030](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebula5030/gifts).



> I hope you will like your fic [Neb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebula5030) <3
> 
> Thank you [ambersofembers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambersofembers) for the edit!

_His hand was slipping, he wasn’t going to be able to hold on any longer. Merlin made a decision—nobody was around—he was already looking for the right spell in his head. ‘Please don’t make him hate me,’ he prayed to the Gods. The loud sounds of the river miles below them, served as a reminder of the urgency. He started to chant the spell, his fingers were close to giving in - when a voice from behind startled him. “Merlin!” it was Arthur. Merlin panicked, looked over at him, and just like that; the rope slipped out of his hands…_

_“_ **_Gwaine!_ ** _”_

Merlin woke up with a start, his shirt was wet and clinging to his torso. He tried calming his breath, and realised multiple pairs of eyes were fixed on him. He could feel the hot sun on his nape and frowned at his onlookers.

“Why did you let me sleep this long?” he sighed, “Again.”

Arthur’s eyes softened, “Because you needed it Merlin.”

Merlin felt inexplicable rage towards Arthur. He couldn’t help but think that if only Arthur hadn’t been there… _If only Merlin wasn’t so afraid of revealing their destiny._ He relaxed his features; Merlin only had himself to blame.

He took a deep breath, stood up - and went about packing his, and the king’s, things. “We should get going, if we want to make it back to Camelot by tomorrow.”

Merlin turned around to Arthur, expecting, _asking_ , for the defiance. Any other day, Arthur would have reprimanded him for lashing out commands. Today nothing came, just a nod with a sad smile as he told the rest to pack up. They all did as asked, and Merlin noticed that none of the knights were able to look him in the eyes now. It angered him. Merlin didn’t want their pity, he wanted their anger. He had let go of their friend, he had had the means to save him but had cowered and failed.

Merlin opened his mouth when the sound of rustling made them all still. All the knights drew out their swords as a man clad in long brown robes entered the clearing. _Emrys_ , Merlin heard in his mind. As Arthur started to address the druid _—_ asking him to state his business _—_ Merlin’s eyes strayed to the second figure entering the clearing. It was impossible, but there, behind the druid, was the dark haired knight he thought he’d never see again.

“Gwaine,” Merlin whispered.

Swords were lowered and everyone fell silent.

“You didn’t think you’d get rid of me that easily, aye?” Gwaine smirked - his expression a little tight.

Gwaine only had eyes for Merlin; everyone else was looking at the both of them, waiting for something to happen. Merlin wanted to run to him, to hug him, and he realised - to kiss him… But he wasn’t so sure it would be welcomed.

Merlin didn’t dare to move, Gwaine was now advancing on him, wearing a weary smile. Merlin knew then, he knew Gwaine had heard, _seen_ ; the starting of a spell, the sparks of yellow in his eyes...

But as Gwaine’s hand reached his cheek, Merlin thought, _fuck it_ \- and crushed his lips against his knight. The immense relief of having this moment with Gwaine _—_ who now knew and was _alive—_ made a little thing inside of Merlin go wild; magic burst out of him, painting the whole clearing in bright lights. Merlin felt Gwaine smile against his lips, and knew it was worth it.

_Merlin’s hands had taken the decision to protect destiny, Merlin’s heart had not._


End file.
